Return "fire" in a relationship

11/28/2016 - 20:24
Return "fire" in a relationship

In long-term relationships desire fades away? Not always and not at all. Is it possible to maintain or regain its former passion pleasure? Physical attraction in a marriage often fades with time, but that does not mean that the back or keep it impossible. Journalist Joan McFadden (Joan McFadden) summarized the recommendations of experts on the subject. Choose the right time to talk. Sexual life couples may stop for many reasons: stress, illness, anxiety, low libido, menopause, lack of confidence and so on. And easier to keep silent about this topic, you decide to talk about it openly. And still need to talk, it is best when both of you are relaxed and nothing will interrupt your conversation. But it should not lead to bed and when you are persuading a partner to have sex, or angry, or feel frustrated. Learn to listen to a partner. Do not take all the above into your account. Do not think that no longer attract him, do not attribute to him their concerns. Such conversations are always loaded with unnecessary emotions, so try not to give in to them, and to hear what you want to tell a partner and what his feelings are. It's not that you are stout or aged. Do not take rejection from sex partner to your account immediately. Do not think that no longer attract him, do not attribute to him their concerns.

Be honest with yourself and with your partner

Both of you will not make an effort to like each other? Your relationship has become commonplace? It is not that you need to be supermodels. But if you do not love them and do not see anything attractive in itself, it is difficult to expect that other people will love you. Maybe you are not satisfied that the partner has ceased for a watch? Tell him about it as discreetly as possible. Decide right sex is important for each of you. Are you willing to sacrifice sex for the sake of the more important parts of your relationship? There are couples who arrange a marriage without sex. But if you are close enough, say so.

  • Be patient. If lack of sex still was the stumbling block, the more passionate of the two need to be patient, to work together to understand the causes of the problem. And of course, do not go to the partner offering an open relationship.
  • However, ask for help. It is necessary to go to a sexologist or family therapist to understand the true causes of the problem. It is important that, together with a partner at the same time you understand the situation. At the beginning of the relationship sex it seems somewhat self-evident, natural and delicious, but over the years he may require conscious effort. However, they will pay off handsomely.

Some sex therapists recommend couples who do not have sex ... prohibit them (temporarily) to engage them

  • Emotional and physical intimacy goes together. Spend leisure together, have fun, find time for each other. When we feel that we have a partner hears and understanding increases the desire.
  • A temporary sex ban
  • Some sex therapists recommend to couples who do not have sex ... prohibit them (temporarily) to engage them. At first glance, it sounds strange, why prohibits doing what, and so are not doing? However, consciousness itself, that sex will not, removes the anxiety associated with the expectation or obligation. It allows partners to feel more free and relaxed.
  • Small steps. Back to sex can be gradual. Start small: hold hands in the street, kiss partner in the cheek, leaving for work. The next stage - a massage, hugging, long kisses, oral sex. But do not have sex until you feel ready. The main idea of ​​this gradual rapprochement is to rediscover sensuality each other and allow the desire to grow without any coercion. It is important to discuss with your partner, that you and he feel now, but do not push him to go on until he is ready.
  • Alcohol is not an assistant. It's true. However, a nice dinner, and light conversation over a glass or two of wine often lead to continuation in bed.